There are people fighting so loudly on the metro platform I could hear it from inside the train, before we even pulled into the station.
o_____O
o_____O
It took me all day to watch the Kristen Bell sloth meltdown, but I’m glad I did because now when people ask how I reacted when I got engaged, I have something to compare it to. I did exactly this. Ask Micah.
gpoy
(via simpsonsimages)
By now you’re ready to throw things at everyone who posts this, but luckily I’m protected from your attacks by a computer screen.
Look at it this way: HALF OFF GUMMY WORMS!!!!
“I can’t believe the cat’s highlights cost $toomuch!” = Humblebragging.
“Check out my new stupid whatever!” = Blatant bragging.
Or, for the visual learners out there:

&

No one needs to know, wants to know, or has a spare shit to give about how much you spent on anything. It’s just more judgement fodder so stop.
superbowl snack idea #3: if you’re seeking layer dip but not the regret
seven layer crazy greek dip
ingredients
1 1/2 cups hummus of your choice
1 15-ounce can of kalamata olives, drained and chopped
1 15-ounce can of artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
1 large tomato, chopped
1/2 large cucumber, peeled and chopped
1 batch of crazy feta (or 4 ounces of plain feta, crumbled)
1 1/3 cups greek yogurt
3 tablespoons fresh dill
1 teaspoon olive oil
3 tablespoons chopped cucumber
1 garlic clove, minced
salt and pepper
instructions
begin by prepping the ingredients for the crazy feta, if needed and set aside.
in a bowl, combine yogurt, dill, garlic, 3 tablespoons of cucumber, olive oil & a sprinkle of salt and pepper & mix. grab a large bowl or plate & begin layering ingredients: the yogurt tzatziki, the chopped olives, the hummus, the chopped artichoke hearts, the crazy feta, & the tomatoes and cucumber. you can layer it however you’d like & use other ingredients to make it your own. serve with pita chips or use in wraps and sandwiches.
[recipe via how sweet eats]
Oh my god. Private superbowl party of me eating this entire thing.
pullmyfoamfinger asked: I used to drink my coffee with milk too but am now a convert to black coffee (for about six years now). How did I ease myself in to it? Flavored coffee. Those coffees you see that are caramel swirl, french vanilla, cinnamon bun, etc? They're your best friend. The smell is where the flavor is but it will trick you in to drinking the coffee black and then you can ease yourself in to the regular black stuff. Also, black iced coffee is a gift from the gods. Hope this helps.
Sage advice for all my fellow weaners.
staygoldenkeeks asked: Hey hey! I was wondering how you're coming along with liking your coffee black? Have you come up with any creative ways into making it seem like there's tons of cream and sugar in it when there's not? I desperately need to stop my gallon o'cream and sugars.
It’s coming along, I’m drinking a cup of black right now! I can’t say I love it yet, some days are better than others.
If I go to class after the gym tomorrow do you think people will think “oh, what a cool girl who just exercised and is sexy” or “why does that girl look like she just gave birth?” ?
that is a frighteningly accurate description of what i look like post-workout. i don’t know how i never realized it til now.
Laughing so I don’t cry. I’m incapable of not looking like a sweaty warthog during/after exercise.
Those women who work out, dab their brow lightly, shake their hair out, then change into business caj and go back to the office can eat shit and die.
Successfully used this gif in a work email.

Being rude to people you work with doesn’t get results.
AKA I got roughly 3 hours of sleep last night will someone please bring this to me?
Important sandwich. MOST important sandwich.
(via gnomesweetgnome)