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I need an adult!

Welcome to the garbage dump of my thoughts. haystephhay@gmail.com

Apr 17

゚:*✧・゚:**: *:・゚✧*:・゚ *:・゚✧ *:・゚゚:*✧・:*
・゚✧・゚:*✧:*・゚happiness is *:・゚✧*:・゚:*
・゚:*✧: * a breakfast sandwich✧*:・゚ *:
・゚:*✧・゚:**: *:・゚✧*:・゚ *:・゚✧ *:・゚: ✧・゚:*


Every time Pharrell’s song”Happy” comes on

whatshouldwecallme:

image


Apr 16

Cleaning House =

Transferring the piles of shit from one room to a different room.


Apr 15

aotakesonchicago:

So accurate.


Apr 14

Too tired and too Monday to come up with a clever food post title.

Our one real meal this week will be queso blanco burgers, which I’ll tell ya right now are pretty great. I’ll have a slew of book club snack foods to tell you about though. 

Last week I made smitten kitchen’s dijon and cognac beef stew….dudes. Maybe not seasonally appropriate but AMAZING. My edits were to double the mushrooms and I ended up having to add some extra beef stock during the cook time since I was worried about evaporation about 60% through. Serve over egg noodles. Be happy.  


Apr 13
“Too many young women I think are harder on themselves than circumstances warrant. They are too often selling themselves short. They too often take criticism personally instead of seriously. You should take criticism seriously because you might learn something, but you can’t let it crush you. You have to be resilient enough to keep moving forward, whatever the personal setbacks and even insults that come your way might be. That takes a sense of humor about yourself and others. Believe me, this is hard-won advice I’m putting forth. It’s not like you wake up and understand this. It’s a process.” Hilary Clinton, on taking criticism. (via ayabug)

(via edatrix)


Apr 12
If I ever lose my phone I’m def getting judged for the high volume of cat pics

If I ever lose my phone I’m def getting judged for the high volume of cat pics


Solo Saturday mani brought to you by Essie Fiji 💅🍷 #bestpink #weddingnailcolorliveson

Solo Saturday mani brought to you by Essie Fiji 💅🍷 #bestpink #weddingnailcolorliveson


Apr 10

Living Life Right

Now when I cry about work it’s for happy reasons not wanting-to-knife-everyone reasons.


Apr 9
retrotrash:

glutenfreewaffles:

if you’ve ever wanted a gif of Marilyn Manson pushing Chris Evans well here u go

OK SO I LITERALLY STILL CANNOT TAKE THIS GUY SERIOUSLY AS CAPTAIN AMERICA BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE HIM I THINK OF “NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE”

I love Marilyn Manson (no shit, I do) and I love Chris Evans. NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE is great. 

retrotrash:

glutenfreewaffles:

if you’ve ever wanted a gif of Marilyn Manson pushing Chris Evans well here u go

OK SO I LITERALLY STILL CANNOT TAKE THIS GUY SERIOUSLY AS CAPTAIN AMERICA BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE HIM I THINK OF “NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE”

I love Marilyn Manson (no shit, I do) and I love Chris Evans. NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE is great. 


I will hate your stand up special if:

  • You make a women-be-shopping-esque “joke”
  • There are many hackneyed stories about how many vaginas you’ve been in
  • Puppets. Nope.
  • You get progressively louder/more shrill until by the punchline you are  actually screaming and screeching
  • 80% of your material is dick/jerk off jokes
  • Physical comedy doesn’t come naturally yet you’re trying really hard to make it happen
  • An acoustic guitar makes an appearance. How folksy (gun emoji).
  • You have elaborate facial hair
  • There is a chain wallet on your person
  • Any combination of the above

On the plus side, after watching New In Town I am actively seeking John Mulaney as a best friend.


Apr 8
Hehehehehe #immaturity4ever

Hehehehehe #immaturity4ever


Apr 7

courfeyrac-yourbody:

yay—stefon:

Louis C.K.’s opening monologue on SNL.

(via sarahlizfits)


Apr 6

ro-s-aspa-rks:

Ken Jennings wouldn’t say Dankey Kang!

Ken Jennings 5eva!!!!

.………

(via ro-s-a-spark-s)


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