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I need an adult!

Welcome to the garbage dump of my thoughts. haystephhay@gmail.com

Apr 13
“Too many young women I think are harder on themselves than circumstances warrant. They are too often selling themselves short. They too often take criticism personally instead of seriously. You should take criticism seriously because you might learn something, but you can’t let it crush you. You have to be resilient enough to keep moving forward, whatever the personal setbacks and even insults that come your way might be. That takes a sense of humor about yourself and others. Believe me, this is hard-won advice I’m putting forth. It’s not like you wake up and understand this. It’s a process.” Hilary Clinton, on taking criticism. (via ayabug)

(via edatrix)


Apr 12
If I ever lose my phone I’m def getting judged for the high volume of cat pics

If I ever lose my phone I’m def getting judged for the high volume of cat pics


Solo Saturday mani brought to you by Essie Fiji 💅🍷 #bestpink #weddingnailcolorliveson

Solo Saturday mani brought to you by Essie Fiji 💅🍷 #bestpink #weddingnailcolorliveson


Apr 10

Living Life Right

Now when I cry about work it’s for happy reasons not wanting-to-knife-everyone reasons.


Apr 9
retrotrash:

glutenfreewaffles:

if you’ve ever wanted a gif of Marilyn Manson pushing Chris Evans well here u go

OK SO I LITERALLY STILL CANNOT TAKE THIS GUY SERIOUSLY AS CAPTAIN AMERICA BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE HIM I THINK OF “NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE”

I love Marilyn Manson (no shit, I do) and I love Chris Evans. NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE is great. 

retrotrash:

glutenfreewaffles:

if you’ve ever wanted a gif of Marilyn Manson pushing Chris Evans well here u go

OK SO I LITERALLY STILL CANNOT TAKE THIS GUY SERIOUSLY AS CAPTAIN AMERICA BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE HIM I THINK OF “NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE”

I love Marilyn Manson (no shit, I do) and I love Chris Evans. NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE is great. 


I will hate your stand up special if:

  • You make a women-be-shopping-esque “joke”
  • There are many hackneyed stories about how many vaginas you’ve been in
  • Puppets. Nope.
  • You get progressively louder/more shrill until by the punchline you are  actually screaming and screeching
  • 80% of your material is dick/jerk off jokes
  • Physical comedy doesn’t come naturally yet you’re trying really hard to make it happen
  • An acoustic guitar makes an appearance. How folksy (gun emoji).
  • You have elaborate facial hair
  • There is a chain wallet on your person
  • Any combination of the above

On the plus side, after watching New In Town I am actively seeking John Mulaney as a best friend.


Apr 8
Hehehehehe #immaturity4ever

Hehehehehe #immaturity4ever


Apr 7

courfeyrac-yourbody:

yay—stefon:

Louis C.K.’s opening monologue on SNL.

(via sarahlizfits)


Apr 6

ro-s-aspa-rks:

Ken Jennings wouldn’t say Dankey Kang!

Ken Jennings 5eva!!!!

.………

(via ro-s-a-spark-s)


Things I have Eaten, Things I Will Eat

Cornmeal crusted chicken with jalapeno popper sauce - So, so excellent. Pound the chicken thin to help with tenderness and cooking evenly. I always serve it with waffles (crack black pepper into the batter). Micah made a genius breakfast sandwich out of the leftovers. 

Korean BBQ beef with broccoli - Basic, adaptable recipe. Super quick and flavorful. Do NOT cook everything as long as it says unless you love flaccid broccoli…I add mine at the very end and serve the whole thing over rice. 

Hearty black bean quesadillas - You’re simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone….

Massaged kale caesar - The other love of my life. I can’t wait until our kale plants grow so we can eat this 2x/week. 

Coming up:

  • Buffalo chicken quesadillas (no recipe, just leftover pulled chicken, buffalo sauce, red onion, monterey jack cheese, and blue cheese dressing)
  • Dijon and cognac beef stew 

Apr 5
That time I tried to take a wedding bathroom selfie and someone knocked so I got scared and ended up with this #youtried ⭐️

That time I tried to take a wedding bathroom selfie and someone knocked so I got scared and ended up with this #youtried ⭐️


Talk to me about essential oils?

I’ve been seeing and hearing some things and am always open to holistic/alternative/possible bullshit/crunchy fads.

Followup question: What’s the best way to order a simple starter kit type thing? Some of these sites involve memberships and are slightly intimidating in terms of price/commitment. I am not trying to be a granola Avon lady, I just want to try a few.


Apr 3

I have eaten more popcorn in the 4 months since I left a job at a movie theatre chain than I did during the 5.5 years I worked for a movie theatre chain.


Mar 30

Blue Apron, Reviewed

I tried Blue Apron a couple of weeks ago - it’s a delivery service that provides all of the ingredients (yep, like even the butter and stuff) and recipes to make however many meals you choose. A friend was kind enough to extend one of her invites to me, and figuring free groceries for a week I jumped right on board, signed up, and clicked that I’d be feeding 4 people (we like hearty portions this is Amurrica). 

I got my delivery, issue-free. Everything looked fresh and pretty decent. 

image

((even Maeby was excited))

I was impressed with the thoroughness of the supply kits; the only thing used that wasn’t provided was a couple sploshes of olive oil. This is nice especially if you’re like me and sometimes skip fresh herbs and other garnishes because you don’t feel like paying for them knowing you’ll use a sprig and leave the rest to have a birthday in the crisper. 

I was whelmed with the recipes; I ended up with chicken quesadillas, stuffed cabbage rolls, and roasted fennel linguine. All were very tasty, but as a person who cooks regularly none were anything I couldn’t or wouldn’t have made anyway (or found a better recipe had I searched on my own). The quesadillas took the least amount of time at 20 minutes. I thought the instructions asked you to dirty an excessive amount of dishes (you don’t need to mix everything in a glass bowl before putting them in the pan, promise). I did not really like that I couldn’t pick what meals we’d receive. At least I couldn’t see anything that would’ve let me pick. 

So we ate and were satisfied with our experience…until I saw that my credit card had been charged $60. Interesting, did I not redeem the invite correctly? I emailed customer service, who told me that the free trials are only for 2 person portion sizes and since I had chosen 4, I was charged for the second box. Okay, I guess that’s fair, but I don’t remember seeing any alert that I’d be charged when I checked out and just didn’t really appreciate the surprise charge. I wasn’t planning on renewing or continuing my subscription, but definitely not after that. 

In summary, would I recommend the service? Eh. I think it’s for a specific subset of people who consider grocery shopping and planning out meals a hassle and are willing to pay a premium to avoid it. I have no problem doing those things, and at around $60 per week (for 3 meals, mind you) I just don’t think it’s a great value. Plus the fact that I didn’t read properly/they didn’t offer any sort of refund didn’t sit well. To end on a good note, I did think the food turned out great!


Perfect grey tee made perfecter @sunshinevinylstore #monogramnation #rainydayprojects

Perfect grey tee made perfecter @sunshinevinylstore #monogramnation #rainydayprojects