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I need an adult!

Welcome to the garbage dump of my thoughts. haystephhay@gmail.com

Jun 16

Food Follow Up: 6/9 Menu

Soft pretzel rolls - Soft pretzels is like my family. I did the regular ol’ baking soda bath because while I don’t doubt lye works better I didn’t feel like getting chemical burns on a Tuesday night. My reading comprehension was also poor and I used active dry yeast without seeing the note at the bottom and didn’t let it sit first, so my pretzels were likely flatter than they should have been, but still excellent. ESPECIALLY as a vehicle for char-grilled brats and chipotle mustard (it’s Guy Fieri/I’m sorry).

Kale caesar salad - A repeat for a reason. We have dino kale growing in the yard (“yard”…) so I skipped the massage and went with thin ribbons instead of tearing it into pieces.

Nancy’s chopped salad - Alternatively titled How I Learned My Husband Hates Radicchio. I liked this, though the amount of salt called for is actually insane. Dial that shit back. My personal preference next time would be more lettuce and/or less meat.


Jun 14
These are gonna be a problem #cheeps5ever

These are gonna be a problem #cheeps5ever


Jun 13
A while back I bought a pile of drugstore mascara in protest of expensive ones and in hopes there was no actual point in spending $28 on one tube when you can get 5 for the same. 
First up in my experiment? Maybelline Mega Plush
I feel like mascaras don’t really hit their stride until a week in but the fresh tube is pretty serviceable! A bit difficult to get all the way to the base of the lashes (I like to REALLY get in there) because the brush is so fluffy and bendy but somehow plush is exactly what I feel my lashes look like. Good job Maybelline marketing team.
A couple of months later, I still like this mascara. Great length and I’m a fan of the soft fluffy effect. More volume would be nice. My biggest complaint is that I suspect it’s one that has fibers in it. I can’t see them, but every so often I’d feel something drop directly into my eye and I’m thinking that’s what.
You’re good, Mega Plush, but I think we can do better.
Grade: B

A while back I bought a pile of drugstore mascara in protest of expensive ones and in hopes there was no actual point in spending $28 on one tube when you can get 5 for the same.

First up in my experiment? Maybelline Mega Plush

I feel like mascaras don’t really hit their stride until a week in but the fresh tube is pretty serviceable! A bit difficult to get all the way to the base of the lashes (I like to REALLY get in there) because the brush is so fluffy and bendy but somehow plush is exactly what I feel my lashes look like. Good job Maybelline marketing team.

A couple of months later, I still like this mascara. Great length and I’m a fan of the soft fluffy effect. More volume would be nice. My biggest complaint is that I suspect it’s one that has fibers in it. I can’t see them, but every so often I’d feel something drop directly into my eye and I’m thinking that’s what.

You’re good, Mega Plush, but I think we can do better.

Grade: B


Jun 9

Week in Food: 6/9 Menu

Fresh off Taco May, I’m back in regular dinner cookin’ action. 

Monday: working late

Tuesday: grilled brats in soft pretzel rolls and kale caesar salad

Wednesday: nancy’s chopped salad

Thursday: not sure

Friday: out? probably?

PS last week I made (deskinnied) broccoli mac and sang Return of the Mack as I shoveled it in. Missed u pasta. 


Jun 6
Workin on mah beach bod 🍩👙 #natldonutday

Workin on mah beach bod 🍩👙 #natldonutday


Jun 5
For whatever reason my first thought was, “raptors in the damn kitchen” #maebyonandinthings #curiousgeorgemichael #youhadonejobphil

For whatever reason my first thought was, “raptors in the damn kitchen” #maebyonandinthings #curiousgeorgemichael #youhadonejobphil


Okay, Scandal Season 3. That’s quite enough.


Jun 3
New photo series: Maeby on and in kitchen things #disbitch #herfacetho

New photo series: Maeby on and in kitchen things #disbitch #herfacetho


What is wrong with this cat #fridgecat #why

What is wrong with this cat #fridgecat #why


Jun 2

nomnomnamaste said: Do you have any recommendations for a sandwich-focused cookbook?

Not unless Jeff Mauro has a cookbook, which he might well have. He IS the sandwich king. If not he has enough recipes on food network from his show to scratch your sandwich itch!


Taco May

We came, we taco-ed, we conquered! Taco May was a great success, and the only regret I have is that we didn’t have more nights at home to eat MORE tacos!

Here’s where we ended up:

  1. Homemade gorditas (A)
  2. BLT salmon tacos (A)
  3. Tandoori chicken tacos (B)
  4. Sweet potato and chorizo tacos (A++)
  5. Spaghetti squash tacos from the Smitten Kitchen cookbook (A+)
  6. Korean chicken tacos (A++)
  7. Steak poblano & mushroom tacos (B)
  8. Breakfast tacos (A++)
  9. Korean fried chicken tacos (A++)
  10. Crazy good fish tacos from GP’s It’s All Good (A)
  11. Chipotle shrimp tacos (A)
  12. Crockpot short rib tacos with salted lime cabbage (A++)
  13. GP’s fish tacos (A++)
  14. Chicken tacos with salsa fresca (B-)
  15. Charred corn tacos with zucchini radish slaw (A) *plus Ina’s tequila lime chicken because men, meat, etc, etc…
  16. Beer battered fish tacos with margarita mango salsa and jalapeno crema (A)

None were gross, but I wouldn’t repeat the B recipes. At the end of the day, there is too much food and too few days to settle for anything less than an A grade.

Here’s a sphinx in a sombrero for your trouble.

image


Jun 1

(After reading anon hate on another person’s blog)

ponytailtime:

If you’re a big fan of boot straps ideology you can fuck the fuck right off and stop following me and go get sucked into a vortex.

Hallelu


May 30
hobbitkaiju:

rayvenloaf:

OMFG this is brilliant

omfg art history jokes

hobbitkaiju:

rayvenloaf:

OMFG this is brilliant

omfg art history jokes

(via stickyhide)


Funny Story Part 1: I was somehow put on the email list for Groupon Indonesia.

Funny Story Part 2: The emails are not in English so I can’t figure out how to unsubscribe.

image


May 27
“I was going in the far left lane, and then it turned into a U-turn only lane, and I started to make a U-turn, but then I panicked because I didn’t want to make a U-turn so I put the car in reverse and then merged right back into the highway. The best thing about that was that after that, cars were pulling up and looking over to see who just did that piece of shit move, expecting to see, like, a hundred year old blind dog who’s texting while driving and drinking a smoothie…instead they see a 28 year old healthy man trying his best.” John Mulaney’s description of his own driving is a perfect thing