I need an adult!

Welcome to the garbage dump of my thoughts. haystephhay@gmail.com

Posts tagged cool story

Mar 26

I want to write this stuff a love song.

Since face wash spends like 30 seconds on your skin before being washed away I don’t buy into ones that are filled with special ingredients. This is the only thing that I feel gets rid of grime, rinses clean (ahem, Cetaphil), AND doesn’t suck all the moisture out of my face.

My only complaint is that it isn’t sold in jumbo size.

End scene.

Apr 23

My Life in Celebrity Hairstyles

Whenever I grew enough hair to cut - 1994

My parents were cheap/lazy/hated me.

1994 - 1997

Elaborate poorly executed braids, big headbands, even bigger scrunchies

1997 - 1999

(festooned with way more butterfly clips)

1999-2001

Quality time with my straightening iron.

2001-2003

Secret plot by crimping iron manufacturers to boost sales from zero for the first time since 1989.

Every warm day since 2008

Can’t stop won’t stop.

Brief stint sometime in 2009

Ugh, effort though.

2003-present

This is the easy, air-dried hair I will have for as long as it takes for someone to nominate me for a makeover show and force me to pretend to like the mom cut I end up with.